Supplemental Readings and Podcasts

Yes, there is much more to learn and become aware of. Learning seems to be an ongoing process, even endless. At some stage in life, we have to muster the courage to act, ready or not. I do not know when that moment arrives for you, the reader, on the journey to find or be (more…)

ABCs of Love – 11. Who Are We Going To Be?

Pair-bonding is not only about sex, family, and prosperity − or love in general if you will. On a deeper level, the endeavor is also about identity. It may start with the question: “Who am I?” And a milestone question might then arise: “Who are we going to be?” Who Am I? That is the (more…)

ABCs of Love – 3. Lost In Translation: Amorous Love

Oh yes, amorous love is lost in translation. Religious people are fond of talking about God’s love, and many of the younger generations are tuned into great sex by the porn industry. “What’s love got to do with it?” asked American singer Tina Turner in her hit song from 1984. What is amorous love? Well, (more…)

ABCs of Love – 1. Love grasped in Four Domains

Unpacking this mysterious phenomenon called ‘love’ allows for grasping just four overarching domains. 1. Non-personal Love of ThingsEver watched a car commercial on TV? Yes, there are plenty of goods to appreciate such as experiences, objects, and places. We take them into our world by loving them. Sex itself is such an experience. Unfortunately, other (more…)

ABCs of Love – 9. Kowing Attachment Styles avoids Troubles

The following article is adapted from, a most fabulous online resource for understanding the human condition. How to be more secure in your relationships Too clingy – or too scared to commit? Your attachment style is rooted in your childhood, but you can change it. Disclaimer We work hard to bring you the (more…)

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ABCs of Love – 4. The big Question: Can Love Last?

The short answer to this question is: yes and no. Oh, why make it so difficult? Because life and love are difficult. Both life and love are afflicted by temporality, that is, duration. Sure, one can look at life and love from the perspective of an instant, but what good is that? The brash young (more…)

ABCs of Love – 8. Similarities as well as Opposites Attract

Now, liking and similarity and opposites by themselves do not make for a good checklist. But I think that any approach to pair-bonding and checklists needs to take the notions of liking, similarities, and opposites into account − and in that temporal order. First, let’s talk a bit more about what liking may be. Then, (more…)

ABCs of Love – 7. How and Whom to Bond With

Love as the expansion of the self One of the most compelling explanations I have come across recently is given in Chapter 1, ‘Love as Expansion of the Self’ in the book The New Psychology Of Love, Second Edition (2019), as edited by Robert J. and Karin Sternberg. In that first chapter, researchers Arthur Aron (more…)

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