Nevertheless, we must give love a chance. And while most dating sites talk much about romantic love, and some only about “amorous love”, they do not talk much about the meaning of real or even true love.
The popular dating sites produce matches based on algorithms. They advocate compatibility so as to preempt against overwhelming choices and unexpected risks.
That isn’t giving passion or love much of a chance, though. Looking at pre-selected online profiles in one’s relative safety and comfort is possibly underwhelming as you may never encounter the One.
Talk to real people, and you will be surprised to learn how many married people “strike a chord” with each other in spite of not being particular “compatible” at the outset, and not being able to say much about the meaning of true love. Honestly, do you know what, in the end, will tickle your fancy regarding the One?
Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg identifies intimacy, passion and commitment as cornerstones of desirable relationships. Or look at intimacy, passion and commitment as the three primary relationship channels or life lines. Keeping all these channels or life lines open is giving love the best chance.
Sternberg outlines a list of stories, each being able to convey a different conception of how love can be understood. Couples, I believe, may find that their relationship can or possibly will be characterized by one of these stories.
Again, life and love are risky affairs, always will be. Having to take chances is not a bug but a feature of living and loving. The meaning of true love is not simply about getting married and having lots of children. If love will end up to be a safe and comfy affair, it may rather be called habitual accommodation.
But that is not all there is to that tantalizing story of love.