♦ LAST UPDATED ON November 3, 2020 ♦
At least in the beginning. It perhaps is true that people do not see the faults of the person that they just came to love. That is why we say that love is blind. When “love at first sight” smites, the single may not be able to “see” clearly even if s/he wanted to! With that single falling in love, the subliminal capacity of sound judgment seems to suspend itself all together – at least for a little while.
Falling in love may be a sweet thing, but falling madly in love might be outright dangerous. Why? In most cases, falling in love is still a manageable situation, but falling madly in love perhaps not. I know that some folks crave the thrills and dangers of crazy love. However, that is not you, is it? Crazy love is not what we are after.
Having fallen in love is most likely just a form of euphoria, and not worthy of being called love. For the moment, gone are the strong pain and suffering from loneliness and boredom, only to be replaced — eventually — by subtle the pains and sufferings from compromises to be made down the road.
Love will not stay blind enough to prevent us from eventually looking around again. The idealized version of our lover has faded, and it seems that there is still plenty of other fish in the pond! A person might be tempted to ask: “Which ones to keep close, why just settle on this one?” Yes, everything is complicated. But there is sanity to the meaning of true love.
First impressions, while meaningful, are rarely due to a conscious process. Second and third impressions, investigative and a bit more conscious, are just as critical. One cannot ever help but see plenty of attractive people in the world. The keeper becomes the one who is kept closest, exclusively, and privileged after second and third impressions. The words “I love you,” uttered more or less helplessly, then declare the decision of a lasting commitment.