So say the Beatles. Well, love — as a noun and in contrast to the verb of loving — is more than that fascinating and enchanting feeling. Love is all you need — and in the end — might not be delusional. We like to think of love as intense affection and esteem for the other as a whole, or as intense affection and high esteem between the lovers. “I love you.” Who does not like to hear these words?
While we always seem to love this or that about the beloved, it just might be the way these special, as well as lesser “things,” come together in the beloved for us that makes us love him or her as he or she is. That then makes him or her rather unique for us — rare, precious, pre-eminent — and not easily replaceable by a rival.
Again, I am not able to offer a clear, simple, and universal explanation of love. So many things are called love, it might be one of the most misused words in human history. In the end, it might be easier to say what love is not. In any case, love needs reinventing echoes French philosopher Alain Badiou in his passionate treatise In Praise of Love.
However, I approach the phenomenon of love in reflective attentiveness that tries to disclose the individual’s “lived experience,” including my own.
So, as people try to separate chaff from wheat or throw out the bathwater without the baby, we might try to do the same with all-things love and see what we may come up with. After getting rid of the many kinds of pseudo love, what shall remain then?
As that — whatever it is — perhaps only shimmers just a bit and only for a moment and thus can barely be sensed, it might still not be explainable any better. But is that then love — uncorrupted, and mutually and benevolently other person-oriented? Or are we then perhaps still seeing something just because we want to?
If we only can wish for love to be there, why not? Why not construct it as such, that is in the semblance of our best intentions? We already created a god in our image, and an afterlife. Yes, it is a romantic idea then — creating something noble out of nothing.
Some say that the more you come to know and love some person, the less you find yourself able to express what it is that you know and love. They say that love is about the ineffable, the unknowable, the transcendent. If it’s beyond us we may be able to feel it, they say, but we cannot say anything intelligible about it.
Well, I won’t argue with that, even though I try to say a few things.